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Joke of the Day

"A rabbi and a priest are walking past a park, where they see a group of boys playing football The priest says ""Let's go over and screw them kids."" The rabbi replies ""Out of what?"""

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"Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough"
"Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer"
"It must be tough to live in Europe. There's neither land nor way.."
"Canadian knock-knock joke *Knock knock.* **Who's there?** *Sorry.* **No I'm sorry.** *No I'm sorry.*"
"People who hit Reply All to 20+ recipients and then say, ""Thanks!""--please know, you are going to Hell. Nothing can save you. Nothing."
"You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list."
"I was trying to get a top comment on Reddit... But I Blueit"
"Hey, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Also tonight."
"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."