202835

Joke of the Day

"99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky; it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire."

"All right stop, coagulate and thicken"

"""You wanna play the rape game?"" ""-No!"" ""-That's the spirit."""

"I've been trying to stop making that's-what-she-said jokes But it's so hard."

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills."

"I just got LASIK done and I highly recommend it to everyone thinking about it. 20/20, would do again."

"College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times."

"Please don't bore your friends with your troubles and worries. Tell your enemies instead, who will be delighted to hear about them."

"Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*"

"Why could Darren jump higher than Zeus? because he was mortall."