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Joke of the Day

"At this wedding, the DJ played The Black Eyed Peas, everyone left the dance floor. I like these people."

"72 virgins This was it. The suicide bomber was going to blow up the US camp. Little did he know that when he woke up he would be surrounded by 72 engineering students...."

"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian."

"I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck... ...turns out I phoned dial-a-llama."

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"

"Ladies, don't date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad."

"We saw a Taliban bukkake film the other night. It was much the same as a normal porn film, except there was a much bigger explosion over her face at the end."

"What do you call a duck that does drugs? A quack head!"

"Apple Watch now comes with a new app... It estimates how long you will have to wait in line for the Apple Watch 2.0."

"I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring an Ebola patient to Atlanta, I'm saying everyone should leave Atlanta because I've seen this movie...."