70647

Joke of the Day

"Doc: The good news is this is a surprise birthday party! Patient: But my birthday's not till next month Doc:Which brings me to the bad news"

"If Miley doesn't get her shit together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college"

"Thinking of having kids? Practice getting small children ready to play in the snow by wrestling a pair of gloves onto an angry octopus."

"What do witches use pencil sharpeners for? To keep their hats pointed."

"How do you think the unthinkable ? ""With an itheberg."" - Mike Tyson"

"I'm sorry, I live in the U.S. so I don't really get the metric system. How much exactly is ""in moderation""?"

"Did you hear about the Chinese military general who deserted his position during a time of war? It was General Tso, and he will always be known as a chicken"

"I keep getting emails about penis enlargement. The ones from my wife are starting to get personal, but it's the ones from my mother that really hurt."

"What's Adrian Peterson's favorite gaming system? Nintendo Switch"

"Why does Santa Claus have a such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."