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Joke of the Day

"Yelling out ""Stranger Danger!"" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code."

"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."

"What did the man with a 10inch dick have for breakfast? I didn't think you would know, but I had steak and eggs."

"My father's sister really isn't fond of jews... We call her auntie-semitite"

"Dropping the bass So my friend tells me she respects people who play the bass. I reply with the following: ""the only bass I like is the base that drops."" Tell me Reddit, tell me I'm hilarious."

"They say sex burns as many calories as running 5 miles.... WHO THE HELL RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS !!!"

"my sixth birthday party was so formal that we roberted for apples"

"Why was the laser sad? All his gas is Argon."

"What was the last thing that went through the bugs head after he hit the window shield? His ass"

"What sits in the middle of the world wide web ? A very very big spider !"