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Joke of the Day

"What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver? Daddy."

"This girl I'm currently seeing is very flexible, just what I like. She comes round every Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday."

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."

"[restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!"

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"My friend and I were hiking Me: ""That's a huge rock over there!"" Him: ""Boulder."" Me: **""That's a huge rock over there.""** EDIT: Thank you guys for the most upvoted post I've made!"

"If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistletoe."

"Poop When you say the word ""poop"" you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Same with diarrhea."

"Two Muffins are sitting in an oven One Muffin looks at the other and says: ""Boy, it sure is hot in here"" The other muffin turns and screams; ""Holy Crap! A talking Muffin!"""

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs They always take things literally"