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Joke of the Day

"Who Is every lumberjack's favourite director? TIMBURRRTON!"

"How heavy is a dumpling? Wanton"

"Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong."

"I like to be frank and earnest with women. In Brooklyn, I'm Frank and in Chicago I'm Ernest."

"What drug can Donald Trump not live without? Xanax, for Hispanic attacks."

"Someone told me my math skills were average. I replied that they were just being mean."

"Tonight's flirtation brought to you by the letter Booze. It's a word? Whatever, man. I don't know algebra and shit."

"What do you call a ceramicist with a beard? A Harry Potter"

"Boss: Staff meeting at 3:00. Me: I can't come, I'm allergic. Boss: But we're not serving food. Me: ... yeah now I really can't come."

"I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective"