48284

Joke of the Day

"Forget everything you learn... 'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.' 'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'"

"F.Y.I. ~~ hand jobs from girls who speak sign language....do in fact, count as blow jobs"

"The portrait fell down from the wall, And struck the young man's head. ""A striking likeness!"" was just about all, The rueful punster said."

"The highest form of flattery... ...is a plateau"

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw? A: One is loud obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird."

"What does a dog get at the vet? [FIXED]"

"If it's important to you, you will find a way to make it happen. If it's not, you will find an excuse."

"How long does it take a black woman to poo? 9 mouths"

"I'm going to put my limbs into each corner of a fitted sheet and attempt to become a sugar glider."

"What do you call a mother who lies about being a father? transparent"