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Joke of the Day

"And now for the best horror game of the year! FNAF vs Slender:The Arrival! FNAF wins! (The FNAF fanbase will scream at us if we pick anything else)"

"My 6-year-old walked into the room and said, ""Don't worry, Dad. I'm OK."" Time to search the house for whatever she destroyed."

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"What pier is disliked by almost everybody? Piers Morgan."

"It's weird how opposites attract, like red wine & a new shirt"

"A man buys some chocolate pudding from a sweets shop, and finds it's turned a sickly green color. He says to the manager, ""this is off pudding."""

"*walks into bar with camera* Me: Can I take a shot of this glass? Bartender: Take a pitcher, it'll last longer"

"The most exercise I get from my exercise ball is when I move it around in my apartment so that it's not in my way."

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped the coffee *before it was cool*."