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Joke of the Day
"A man tries to buy a trampoline... but his check bounces."
Next Joke
"Do you like fishsticks? What are you a gay fish"
"President Roosevelt once rode his horse 100 miles. Chuck Norris carried his the same distance in half the time."
"my dad always makes fun of me for taking selfies all the time but if he didn't want such a beautiful child he should've kept it in his pants"
"How do you know when a black woman is pregnant? When you pull out her tampon and all the cotton is picked."
"So they told me I couldn't live in the gym but I told them... Squatters' rights."
"""Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior?"" ""No."" ""Why not, sir?"" ""Because, it would make my rabbi sad."""
"Isn't it so wierd when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating."
"If someone enjoys bondage, and they hang themselves... Does that mean they died from having a kink in their neck?"
"[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please"