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Joke of the Day

"At my funeral, I want them to play ""Thriller"" and have someone that looks like me climb out of a casket, dancing. (wins at death)"

"If you ask for ice water in the south they look at you funny, down here they drink something called ass water?"

"Yo mama's so fat... ... that if you walk too close to her, you'll go into orbit."

"So Rene points to Gorgias in the schoolyard and says, ""you're a stupid solipsist..."". ...and Gorgias says, ""I know you are but what I am."""

"I started a business... I started a business selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"Legally, if a woman is wearing hoop earrings that are as big as the side of her face, you are allowed to hurl a basketball at her head."

"Why was Piglet in the bathroom? He was looking for Pooh."

"We should hold a reddit-wide vote on whether or not to bring back the upvote/downvote counter. But how will we count the votes?"

"I am fresh out of milkshakes, but I'm pretty sure that my willingness to put out on the first date will bring all the boys to the yard."