7002

Joke of the Day

"Cocaine I tried and failed to use cocaine. It kept falling off the mirror in the bathroom."

"Why did the Libertarian cross the road? Fuck you, none of your business. Am I being detained?"

"It's bad when you accidentally tell a 9 year-old child, ""Stay in drugs, don't do school"" in a serious tone."

"If you're happy and you know it please don't burden me with your fucking joy."

"Me: You're kidnapping me? Where're we going? Can we feed my cats first? Is there a ransom? Cool van. My name- Him: Changed my mind. Get out."

"You know how horny the Romans were back then? For fuck's sake, they even nailed Jesus!"

"what ultimately decides your fate while you are driving? Your Carma"

"What's the objective of Jewish football? To get the quarterback!"

"Hey Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the sperm bank? He was caught drinking on the job."

"Be more like Christ they said... Be more like Christ they said, so I became Jewish."