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Joke of the Day

"Seems like most rioting in the world happens in the countries with the least bacon."

"QUICK! HOW MANY BABY CARROTS CAN A GUY SHOVE UP HIS BUTT BEFORE HE... 12."

"So, I accidentally sent a picture of my d&#k to everyone in my address book today Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... the Welshman's not there because he's still at the Euros."

"One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline... We go way back."

"awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far"

"Her: You're all sweaty. Where have you been? *Flash back to an hour long struggle of me trying to separate 2 shopping carts* Me: The gym."

"I hope I don't get bitten by a vampire when I'm old and have to spend eternity as a senior citizen."

"Hey TV producers! Create a show for white people called ""Brunch Wars"". You're welcome."

"2010: Didn't jog 2011: Didn't jog 2012: Didn't jog 2013: Didn't jog 2014: Haven't jogged ~ This is a running joke"