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Joke of the Day

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent! (Credit to the first dad who said this) EDIT: I fucked up the joke, thanks /u/Daviddddddd"

"If you stand by and watch someone wreck their life, you're part of the problem And yet we all still go to weddings for the open bar"

"Have you heard about McDonald's new Hillary Clinton Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it."

"What's the opposite of critical thinking? Critical theory."

"Amusing roller skating falls collection. That's very interesting and amusing video"

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."

"Crabs are amazing collectivistic creatures; they only use pubic transportation."

"So we no longer say ""please"" and ""thanks"" in the office? Never got the memo. But I did get one saying it's ok to key impolite people's cars."

"Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"Did you hear about the blonde who put ""Sagittarius"" at the bottom of application forms where it said ""Sign Here""."