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Joke of the Day
"My sister's husband overdosed on Viagra... she took it hard."
Next Joke
"My boss pulled up in his new car today so I complimented him on it. He responded "" if you set your goals, work hard and execute, I can buy an even better one next year"""
"BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities."
"What do you call a gay man in his house by himself? homolone"
"""Dude go make the first move on her!"" ""Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."" *approaches girl* ""Knight to f3"""
"According to really smart people I should have started saving 20 years ago."
"Remember when you could strangle people with your phone? Those were the days.."
"When you're really angry, instead of saying a filthy curse word, try yelling ""Finnegan's Biscuits!"" I find it quite satisfying."
"Two Muffins are sitting in an oven... The first muffin says ""Man, it is hot in here!"" then the second muffin says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""
"What do you call an aborted Czechoslovakian? A cancelled Chzeck."