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Joke of the Day

"Two Muffins are sitting in an oven... The first muffin says ""Man, it is hot in here!"" then the second muffin says ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

"(Q)...... What was the difference between Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky's dry-cleaners? (A)...... Clinton wouldn't come clean."

"""Pop star, Justin Bieber, was charged with DUI, driving with an expired license and resisting arrest."" Britney Spears whispers, ""Amateur."""

"A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping at least one would make them laugh No pun in ten did."

"""Computers will never replace humans."" - Cannibal wisdom."

"My internet goes at 20mb per second... wonder how much faster it goes per first!"

"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. (my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)"

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."

"My mum tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed. It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold."