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Joke of the Day

"Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"What don't you want to hear after performing oral sex on Willie Nelson? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"I still remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket ""Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""

"A joke I made up from The Revenant Why did Glass gut the horse? He just wanted to fit in."

"I'm so dependent on the google ""did you mean ____?"" that i barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly"

"My kids are gone for the WHOLE day. nnI miss them SO much, I can barely bring myself to pop this 3rd bottle of Champagne."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance."

"Communist jokes are not funny... unless everyone gets them"

"Pimp my ride I've just ordered the personal number plate BAA BAA. Should look cool on my black jeep."

"What is that the more you desire, the less you can get? Beautiful girls."