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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by serving a hasidic man a footlong Italian BMT. Oops, wrong sub."

"Why doesn't Jesus play hockey? He's always nailed to the boards...."

"""And this is my creepy husband, John."" (The way my friend should introduce her husband)"

"I'm amazed how long I will watch a stupid infomercial, because I don't feel like reaching for the remote."

"I never scrape my back window so when I back out of parking spots I let Jesus decide if I'm gonna kill anyone"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopuss"

"Did you hear about the new show about Xi Jinping, Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin? It's called [Removed]"

"A photon checks into a hotel... ...and the bellhop asks ""can i help with your luggage?"" The photon replies ""I don't have any. I'm traveling light."""

"HELLO POLICE, MY SON JUST TAUGHT CUT TO A LEGENDARY POKEMON I WANT HIM TRIED AS AN ADULT"

"I found a great way to stop procrastinating! I'll tell you guys later."