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Joke of the Day

"Why were there only 49 contestants in the National Ebonics Beauty Pageant? Nobody wanted to wear the sash that says ""Idaho""."

"What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school? Algaebra..."

"You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet."

"WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?"

"I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit"

"wanna hear a joke about pizza? nevermind.. it's way too cheesy."

"My ex girlfriend really wanted me to pee on her but it was weird for me so I just called 911"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalatapus"

"What would a Christian Rap album featuring only UPS drivers be titled? The Deliverance"

"*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go."