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Joke of the Day

"You going to eat those sausages? - What? The encased meats. Do you want them? - Those are my fingers. Oh, no thanks, I'm not there yet."

"What is the hardest thing to do after starting a family? Ending them."

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light."

"[Meta] If our roles were reversed... I'd upvote your post."

"How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who gives a cluck? (I wonder if the moderators will censor this joke merely on the grounds that it is categorically terrible?)"

"What did the birthday balloon say to the pin? ""Hi Buster."""

"what did the grape say when it got stepped on? nothing, it just let out a little whine"

"What did the Jewish child molester say to the kid? Hey kid, do you want to buy some candy?"

"Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor. Nobody should be able to vote in both."

"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."