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Joke of the Day

"I failed a Health and Safety course at work today... One of the questions was: ""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""Fuckin' big ones"" was apparently the wrong answer. Edit: grammer"

"Why don't black people get on cruise ships. They already fell for that once."

"I cheated on my drug test, with a younger, more attractive drug test."

"That rose tattoo on your ass was SO hot when you were 19. Now it looks like red cabbage"

"I think I will take my next drivers license picture drunk so I can say pshaw! I always look like that."

"First trick or treater of the day just came round dressed as Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid, I was petrified."

"A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, ""And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"" Annie replied, ""Because people are sleeping"""

"How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple"

"my favorite hobby is reading a book by a fireplace in a cabin in the woods. in other words, my favorite hobby is being threatening to trees"

"Bought some sneakers off of a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!"