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Joke of the Day

"A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, ""And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"" Annie replied, ""Because people are sleeping"""

"I was scraping a window at my Grandma's house.... I then thought up a joke for my mom to hear it was ""This window scraping stuff is a pane in the glass!"" She laughed :)"

"Why do vampires drink virgin blood? If you were going to eat a sandwich, you would enjoy it more knowing no one had fucked it"

"How do you make a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven at ~~three fifty~~ tree fiddy until it's Bill Withers. Edit:summoning happened."

"Why Did The Stadium Get Hot After The Game? Because all the fans left."

"""W.A.D."" a simple mnemonic device for remembering the steps in folding a fitted sheet stands for: 1. Wad it up; 2. And; 3. Done"

"""It's possible to touch birds!"" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds."

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee Strong and black"

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, it was the selfish Rooster that came first and the Hen never even finished."

"A lady walks into a bar... Sits down and says to the bartender ""give me a double."" He asks ""what'll it be?"" She replies ""make it an entedre."" So he gave it to her."