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Joke of the Day

"Attractive women post selfies and refer to themselves as ugly. As a group, if we begin agreeing with them we could stop that shit quick."

Next Joke
 
"IAN: Why is that bear hanging out in the bar? ME: He's a well known, gimmick. IAN: Really? ME: That's Conan. Conan The Bar Bear, Ian."
"So I found out today I have Alzheimer's..."
"If Bugs Bunny was as sarcastic in real life as he was in the cartoons I'd be like, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING RABBIT!"""
"A scientist claims to have 100,000 pieces of evidence that Bigfoot exists. How about one, a f#cking Bigfoot??"
"I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate"
"Setting up a Moses business would be simple except for one setback... Staff problems."
"What did the accountant with constipation do? He worked is out with a pencil."
"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."
"2 deer walk into a bar An hour later they walk out and one says to the other, ""Man, I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there."""