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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the emoji fly to Syria? It wanted to become an Emojihad!"
"What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad? Wipe away those ears."
"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with Cheese"
"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."
"PEDIATRICIAN: This could sting a little. KID: Okay. PEDIATRICIAN: One day the sun will envelope the earth and we will all turn to dust."
"[trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? ""Sir, this is a library!"" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?"
"What is ISIS? They are Radical!!! Please don't hurt me...."
"Organic chemistry is difficult Those who study it have alkynes of trouble"
"Why does Donald Trump take anti-anxiety medication? To prevent Hispanic attacks."