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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour left her outdoor stereo blaring & went out for the night. I now have a set of speakers for sale, minus the wires. Call me."

"Auto-correct is so crazy now a days... My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'"

"Twitter 1 Act: -Person misreads sarcasm -You point out it's sarcasm -""I know I was being sarcastic back"" -Sharpen pencil, jam it in own eye"

"What do Bill Cosby and the Little Dutch Boy have in common? Both were caught with their finger in the dyke."

"[INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM"

"Did you know the inventor of the vibrator heard voices saying... ""If you build it, they will come."""

"My sister told me she is going to become fucking rich... I didn't know she wanted to be a porn actress"

"What do you call a wheel with clothes? Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle."

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those that get it and those that don't."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be silly, glass ceilings don't have lightbulbs!"