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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour left her outdoor stereo blaring & went out for the night. I now have a set of speakers for sale, minus the wires. Call me."

"My relationship status is like that other missing sock, I'm all alone and eventually end up getting trashed"

"No thanks ""protected account"". You can't trick me into following you! For all I know, you could be a vegan."

"What did the envelope say to the stamp? ""Stick with me and we'll go places."""

"I still eat around bruised parts of fruit like a scared 4-year-old."

"What do lesbians and chinese people have in common They both like to eat pussy"

"What's the difference between a magician's wand and a nightstick? One is used for cunning stunts, the other is used for stunning cunts."

"Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month. Project manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month."

"How will Donald Trump decide which ones to deport from millions illegal immigrants? By conducting a **Juan on Juan** meeting with every Juan of them."

"Why couldn't the mayonnaise kethup? Cuz he musturd."