199787

Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the mayonnaise kethup? Cuz he musturd."

"With great power comes.. An expensive electricity bill"

"Don't you hate it when you look all around the house and car for your underwear,,, And they were on top of your head the whole time?"

"A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me."

"What happens when a plant is sad? The other plants have to photosympathize with it"

"How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? ""Please get out of the swimming pool."""

"Why did Thor file a police report? Because someone stole his thunder"

"What did one end of the rope say to the other? We were bound to get together..."

"Sorry, I'm way too tired to do anything tonight. I just need to take a shower, get to bed early, then look at stuff on my phone until 4 AM."

"Why do hippies have sex at music festivals? Because it is intents"