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Joke of the Day
"what's invisible and smells like carrots? rabbit farts"
Next Joke
"[shopping] [wife being a real pain] Me: *hands her the broom we just bought* You want me to carry this? Or do you want to drive it home?"
"Why did the dog go to the hospital? He was feeling ruff."
"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and hey why did you bring all these goats they're eating this luscious grass."
"MUST WATCH heartwarming video! Limbless man rents himself as talking door stop for rich people to afford daughter's seizure medication."
"Getting a neck tattoo is probably the coolest way to show your love for manual labour."
"How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to have a nurse to tell him which end to screw in."
"Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras."
"Hyperbole: Literally the worst thing ever."
"this asian is Hannibal Lecter At the animal shelter"