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Joke of the Day

"Riddle, you see a guy You see a guy on the street talking to himself. What's his nationality? He's a Babylonian."

"If I ever get a dog I'm going to teach him how to fetch useful things like tv remotes, iPhones and men who like red wine."

"What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at three Hos."

"You can tell if a girl likes you by her ankles IF THEY'RE THREE INCHES DEEP IN THE BLOOD OF YOUR ENEMIES THEN SHE LIKES YOU"

"*gets up off bed* *puts pants back on* Oh...so you...you wanted ACTUAL tacos then?"

"#TT At 14 I yelled, ""You'll NEVER understand Morrissey,dad!!"" and tried to run dramatically out of the room but ran into a wall & fell over."

"Did you hear about the couple of gay Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald."

"What does a man keep in his pants that often pokes the hole it's poked before? His keys, you filthy-minded bastard."

"Apparently Cadbury's are making an oriental chocolate bar I reckon it's just a Chinese whisper"

"I had a 12 inch Italian last night Then I went to Subway"