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Joke of the Day

"So a cinematographer, writer, and production designer walk into a bar.... and the director takes all the credit."

"Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster."

"Waiter there's a dead fly in my soup! What do you expect for $1 - a live one?"

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."

"""All I ever wanted to do is make a difference."" - Subtraction Man"

"The snail and the tortoise What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise? Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!"

"""Eat my pussy, you salty whore!"" Said the chef working at a Chinese food restaurant to the prostitute who just spilled her salt on herself and was reluctant to eat the meal before her."

"I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong."

"What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ? An udder failure !"