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Joke of the Day
"What Johnny Mercer song does December 21st remind you of? Autumn Leaves."
Next Joke
"By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn't yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance"
"What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider."
"What's the difference between a toddler and a handgun? A handgun can't suck a dick."
"What do you call an Asian lady sitting on a fence with no arms or legs? Pai-Ling"
"Hello (Sorry for my English)"
"It's cool how when people tell us about their dreams that were the weirdest/most beautiful thing they've ever seen we're like ""UGH BORING"""
"How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling"
"No one beats the Jackson 5! Except their father."
"The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone."