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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks in on his daughter masturbating with a pickle ""Sick!"" he says. ""I was going to eat that. Now it's going to taste like pickle."""

"Brother-in-arms What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time? ""You're my brother in arms!"""

"Why doesn't Casper have any children? He has a hollow-weiner."

"""This town ain't big enough for the two of us."" -Someone who is terrible at English, science, and geography."

"I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"

"What is the most fascist letter? Not C"

"It's a real shame Friday doesn't come as quick as I do"

"Hi, I'm Zack. You might remember me from HR meetings such as, ""We Don't Even Need to Watch the Security Tape to Know It Was You"""

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"My friend's getting rich by selling photos of koi in clothes. He says it's as easy as shooting fish in apparel."