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Joke of the Day

"I heard that the majority of car accidents happen within 15 minutes of home So I decided to move 30 minutes away"

"""KIDS, GET YOUR SHOES ON WE'RE LEAVING FOR SCHOOL IN SIX HOURS!!!"" -- Centipede parents"

"A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police."

"How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles? nail the other hand to the floor."

"Every human being on earth has mentally retained far too many of the lyrics to ""Barbie Girl."""

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A BABOOM!"

"Im going to nickname my penis 'The Truth'... ...Because you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts."

"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."

"What did the old Kentucky colonel say when he got his Viagra? The south shall rise again!"

"[Starwars] How can you tell Luke is Uncircumcised? Because he has Force Kin."