69104

Joke of the Day

"will you marry me? ""OMG YES! I love you!!!"" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too"

"You remind me of my pinky toe. You're small, cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on the coffee table later tonight"

"What should you do when life gives you melons? Get tested for dyslexia."

"If a cat won an Oscar what would he get? An a-cat-emy award."

"Yeah, I've got that Sexy Librarian thing going on. Except I'm not sexy. Or a librarian. I would like you to keep it down though."

"This ones for those college students and there finals This is really just a good analogy. Finals are like plastic surgery, you go in with A's and you come out with D's!"

"Accidentally bought a Venti at Starbucks and now I can't afford to go to college :("

"Why are hamburgers essential to football? Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!"

"What do you call a natural blonde who dies her hair? Artificial intelligence."

"Ray Rice and Janay Rice go together..... like peanut butter..and whatever punches peanut butter in the face"