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Joke of the Day

"What do you say to an native american who, you think, is telling you lies? Don't sittin' bullshit me."

"What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen."

"Screw you, Burger King, if you really wanted me to have it ""MY way"" you'd have added alcohol to your menu."

"The opposite of aging gracefully is aging nancygracefully, where you literally morph into a horrible human being."

"How does Moses prepare his coffee? Hebrews it."

"What did the Indian guy say to his mother before he left for his nearest city? ""Mumbai"""

"The NFL replacement refs"

"Ask me why I'm bad at telling jokes - ""why are you bad at telling jokes?"" - ...oh wait. Shit! ughh ... I fucked it up."

"[At Wedding] Priest: And do you take me as your lawfully wedded wife? Me: I do. WAIT A SECOND Priest: TOO LATE. YOU'RE MINE NOW, IDIOT."

"Cats constantly look at you like you just asked them for a ride to the airport."