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Joke of the Day

"I used to work as a bed salesman One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop."

Next Joke
 
"Me: Things are going well. *knocks on wood* 5-year-old: Who's there? Me: It's not a knock knock joke. 5: It's not a knock knock joke who?"
"How do black people decide what day to wear airbrushed memorial t-shirts of dead relatives?"
"Worlds shortest joke... (fixed) My life."
"Gynecologist: ok, I just need you to open up... Me, interrupting: As a middle child, I never felt good enough. Gynecologist: Um, your legs"
"What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."
"Nightclub bouncers find me so attractive that they ask me to stand next to them while they make everyone else go inside."
"To the guy that found my empty wallet... I don't know how to repay you."
"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."
"I have a magician friend who makes eggs appear out of thin air He calls the routine ""Creation Eggs Nihilo"""