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Joke of the Day
"Why aren't there any knock knock jokes about America? Because Freedom Rings."
Next Joke
"Your mama so fat.... She uses a paint roller to apply lipstick."
"Me: No, you hang up first Pizza Hut: *click*"
"The only thing I've learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children"
"CHEF ETHAN IS IN THE HOUSE *YEEEEAAHHHHH BOYYYYYYYY*"
"This cab driver is THE WORST. I keep telling him ""You passed my house, let me out"" & he's all like ""Sir I'm a cop and your under arrest for public nudity and intoxication."""
"Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia? Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere"
"My attempt to write from a woman's perspective: ""She carried her boobs to the station. 'They're staring at my boobs,' she thought boobily."""
"Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart? He desperately needed Apu."
"How do you make a woman orgasm? Who gives a fuck"