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Joke of the Day

"People wonder why I call my toilet ""the Jim"" instead of ""the John"" I do it so I can say ""I go to the Jim first thing every morning"""

"What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! !!!!"

"What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? ""That's a waist of paper!"""

"Why is it difficult to pan for gold in Somalia? Because pyrites arrrrrr everywhere"

"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to talk about how much better Neil Peart could've done it"

"The guy who invented the mohawk was originally just trying to get his sideburns the same length."

"How many Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes 5 episodes."

"How do you paint a wall with dead babies? It depends how hard you throw them."

"LAWYER: where were you Oct 13th? ME: alibi school LAWYER: can u prove this? ME: wait, the 13th? LAWYER: ya ME: k no I was murdering that day"

"Thanks to Twitter I now consider 140 characters ""literature""."