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Joke of the Day

"""A bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of Adenosinetriphosphate. The barman says ""That'll be 80p [ATP]!"""

"I like my women how I like my weather moist and unstable."

"James Bond. Great spy? Or guy who gets captured every mission."

"Pick a woman with wits. Wits will never sag."

"I wish my marks would smoke weed So it'd get high"

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Silent"

"What do you call a budget circumcision? A rip off."

"Did you hear about the guy who fell asleep during The Force Awakens? The theater was too Darth."

"Gf: why have you been googling 'can you milk a hamster' Me: *wipes milk from mouth* it was for a tweet"

"I don't have a problem sharing my funny stuff with ya'll here as you c0py & paste to your Facebook, it's the damn Twitter crew I can't stand with their self righteousness and egos."