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Joke of the Day

"PASSWORD EVER, USERNAME GREATEST *username/password must each contain at least one numeric character* PASSWORD 9EVER, USERNAME GREATEST6"

"So my neighbour... So my neighbour asks me if I've been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost shat in her pants!"

"My wife didn't finish her Morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet."

"What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream"

"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their booze and always black-out."

"What does a waffle call his complete existential paradigm shift? His eggo death"

"Every letter likes Jews... but not-Z"

"The Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day."

"what does a 9 volt battery and your girlfriend's arsehole have in common? Even though you know you shouldn't you give them both a lick"

"I can't fall asleep right now, I'm too busy counting how many hours of sleep I will get if I fall asleep right now."