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Joke of the Day

"""Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!"" The parole board chants, as I enter my hearing. This was not a good sign."

"Do you know why Santa Claus doesn't have any kids? Because he only gets to come once a year and thats down a chimney."

"Hey, look at the bright side... oh I'm sorry, YOU don't have one of those."

"I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""F**kin' large ones"" is not the correct answer."

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only half the things that come out of her vagina are retarded."

"How many ninjas are in this room? As many as want to be!"

"This is a step ladder. I never knew my real ladder. Last I heard he was in a twelve step program. I'll see myself out."

"What did Rouge say just before murdering Crimison? Hue hue hue"

"Bernie Sanders If I had a nickel for every time a redditor posted about something Bernie Sanders, I'd be the kind of person he is always smearing. A BILLIONAIRE!"

"How do you make hard cider? Put it in the freezer."