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Joke of the Day

"A robber comes up to a man in a suit and threatens him... -Give me YOUR money! -But, I'm a ... politician. -Okay then,give me MY money!"

"An art thief gets caught after a heist, how so? Many people saw his Van Gogh from the scene of the crime."

"What do you call Minecraft in Germany? NEIN-CRAFT!"

"ariana grande looks like she was designed in a lab by japanese perverts"

"asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it's her floss"

"Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went."

"I tried phone sex for the first time the other day... Didn't really like it though, the phone was too cold."

"""Fuck it"" - guy in charge of naming the hot air balloon"

"Jokes (Water) Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. "

"Me: I'm a confident driver Friend: You almost just ran someone over Me: Confidently tho"