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Joke of the Day
"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Throw your laundry in with them."
Next Joke
"Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures..."
"Giving a woman an orgasm is like riding a bicycle. I always feel silly wearing a helmet."
"I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister... It was wrong on so many levels."
"""Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Probably photos, reflective surfaces, things of that nature."
"When I die... When I die, I hope it is peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers."
"""Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.."" Him: Do you have to say that everytime we visit my mom?"
"I don't see how flight MH370 sunk. When it hit the water it would have been plane sailing."
"Remember when Taco Bell's slogan was ""run for the border""? Doesn't that seem really racist now... that would be like KFC's slogan being ""go back to Africa"""
"Not all men just want a relationship for sex. Some want their ironing done too."