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Joke of the Day
"ELI5: What does ELI5 mean?"
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"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."
"What is the difference between Jared Fogel before prison, and Jared now? Before prison he was paid to eat footlongs."
"If procrastination was a course offered at school I'd get an ""i"" for incomplete."
"So Samsung released a new knife! Its brand new cutting-edge technology"
"Follow your dreams Except for that one where you're naked at work."
"[drake deepthroating a fully cooked sausage] I'm on my wurst behavior"
"Octopus 1-you up for tennis? Octopus 2- I cant my tennis elbows are actin up again Octo1-..we dont have elb Octo2- I DONT WANNA PLAY CARL"
"Have you ever smelled molasses? How did you catch the little buggers?"
"Go to Starbucks - Order Coffee - Tell them your name is Waldo - Leave"