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Joke of the Day

"If procrastination was a course offered at school I'd get an ""i"" for incomplete."

"The toughest decision I will make today is wine or beer... Life is rough.."

"I didn't like Age of Ultron You don't even figure out how old he is."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? He came outta the cupboard ."

"Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child."

"What's the difference between fat and cholesterol you don't wake up with a cholesterol"

"What does a rock put on when it stinks? Geodorant."

"Q: Why do ducks look so sad? A: Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *"

"Coconut oil on my dry skin this winter has made me attractive to women. Problem is the chocolate from the Mounds bars is ruining my clothes."