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Joke of the Day

"A great way to get a cw to stop talking to you permanently is to start clipping your toenails in the middle of their story"

"What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? ""Honey I'm home!"""

"Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can"

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."

"Gonna try and impress this hot girl biking next to me at the gym by answering the Who Wants to be a Millionaire questions out loud."

"Ayy, lets get the denk jokes up in here. ONLY THE DANKEST OF THE DANK (this is my first post)"

"Steve Irwin died as he lived... With animals in his heart."

"If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?"

"For Sale: Wedding Suit, worn only once by mistake.."

"Who so thelioma? Mesothelioma"