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Joke of the Day

"How does a Korean walk a dog? With a little bit of oil."

"What do you do when you drop your favorite ska record? PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!"

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"""Now?"" ""Not yet."" ""Now?"" ""Not quite."" *Car approaches* ""Now?"" ""Now."" -Deer crossing the road"

"You're saying that the two people I don't want for president, one is in poor health? I'm voting for the dying one."

"Imagine if Hannibal was a university professor I'd love to go to a Hannibal Lecture!"

"I wish I was an American so that I had the right to bear arms. I'd probably go for panda bear arms because awwwww, so cute."

"PSA: Always tip your prostitutes. Small tips are fine. That's what they get paid for."

"Non alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister Tastes the same as others, but it just isn't right..."

"What's the best thing about portugal? You never have to carry your bags because of all the porter-geese. Thankyou, im here till monday!"