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Joke of the Day

"God loves me but I'm not looking for anything serious."

"A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them"

"The amount of new jokes on this sub is ridiculous today. Just wait 4 years and they will all be reposted."

"Did you hear about the new Jason Bourne movie, still Bourne? It was set to come out next year but the plan was aborted"

"*bursts out of stable on a chihuahua* ""Wait, if you're here then that means"" *cut to a horse peeking it's head out of Paris Hiltons purse*"

"Did you hear about the factory run by a hangman? All work has been suspended."

"My friends always told me I couldn't say my S's right. I never noticed it until I heard a recording of myself talk. Suddenly, it all made shensh after that."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair. (And yes, I know I'm going to hell)"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a pretty obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."