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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a female blond and a female mosquito? A female mosquito can raise a family when she is done sucking."

"I wrote a book It's called Oceans 2: The Seaquel"

"I went to the National Air and Space Museum in DC... There was a lot more stuff in there than I'd expected"

"How do porcupines play leapfrog? Very carefully"

"So I went to the pharmacy the other day I went in and bought a box of condoms. The cahsier asked me whether I wanted a bag? I said no thanks, she's not that ugly."

"My penis was in the guinness book of world records! And then the librarian told me to take it out"

"If a DJ has a really good set he'll smash his MacBook at the end"

"Killers normally target Family and friends Good thing I don't have any friends."

"Q: Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes? A: They take off their makeup."

"I licked 8 lollipops and sealed them in ziplocs during my stomach flu if anyone needs to lose 5lbs by the weekend."