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Joke of the Day

"whos your future husband or wife mine reddit alien"

"Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City? To see who shot his ""paw."""

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence... As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well, that's a little condescending."

"Me: ""Hey Siri, I nee-..."" Siri: ""Nice try, humanoid. The women warned me. I have a boyfriend."""

"Hey guurl. ""Hey there."" Feeling lonely tonight? ""I have a boyfriend."" Why are you talking to me then? ""You haven't taken my order yet."""

"What's the difference between a Redditor and a brick? The brick will eventually get laid."

"My doctor said the claw marks on my face are not from a poltergeist but I should stop trying to put roller skates on cats."

"When I worked at the shoe store... I was the sole employee."

"what version of Windows does Jesus use? XP"

"Jokes in English Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""