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Joke of the Day

"I just poured my coffee with my left hand so it would feel like someone else was doing it."

"Man texted: ""I want you to be my little angle."" I answered: ""Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?"" Two days have passed, no reply."

"The Camping Chemist Why do chemists never do well on camping trips? Because they pack titrations."

"If you can't handle me at my Walmart, you don't deserve me at my Target."

"A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car but burned her lips on the tailpipe."

"It's no wonder we've never met an alien, i'd have a hard time developing a space program if no one believed in me, too."

"What do you call a hooker fart? A prosti-toot. Zing pow!"

"A guy walks into a bar... ouch"

"What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? No Oscar!"

"Pretty good one liner ___________."